Where this Road Leads
by fruit-joshua
Summary: picked up off the side of a mountain road by a traveling artist Joshua finds himself discovering more about himself and getting over a tragic incident from his past. pairing Kirkoma (Sanae/Josh) trigger warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

By tumblr demand I have decided to post this story here on because reasons. Anyway teh first three parts are written but I'm only posting part one for now because I want to see how well it takes here first. second off I would like to put a few warnings in place as well.

This isn't some fluffy kirkoma fanfic, its got a fair bit of angst and a few trigger warnings, such as self harm and depression. It will get deep in later chapters, which is the reason I've been hesitant on writing part 4. Aside from self harm there's mentions of character death and suicide. If you're okay with that then by all means proceed, but don't say I didn't give fair warning.

one other thing, this is shounen ai/yaoi so if you dont like that, please, don't read and don't flame. Pairing is Kirkoma (Sanae/Josh) with mentioned of Neku/Josh.

Now I'm only gonna state this once, I obviously do not in anyway own TWEWY, but I do take credit for this story idea.

* * *

A shiver ran down Joshua's spine as the cool mountain breeze blew over him, billowing his hair softly over his shoulder. A light smile graced his lips, ignoring the chill and instead turning his gaze in the direction the wind was blowing. The sight of a mist covered forest a midst the mountain range below him greeted his eyes. It was still early morning and the few rays of sun that managed to break through the mist made it a truly awe inspiring sight.

The smile grew and he subconsciously tugged on the sleeves of his thin sweater. Even though it was spring the mountains were still pretty cold this early in the morning, but luckily for him the roads were quiet so he could enjoy the scenery in peace. Letting out s happy sigh he started walking again, pushing his hair out of his face against the wind in the process.

It went by like that few an hour or so before a few stray cars started driving by the road, none of them really noticing the lone boy walking with his arms stretched out at the edge of the road, where concrete met rock and the ledge dipped into a steep slope.

One step, two, then another, misstep - a small yelp followed by a laugh after regaining his balance, adjusting the strap of his shoulder bag before stretching his arms back out around him. He was content like this, happy, not like before he started out. His violet eyes turned skywards, letting his mind go blank as he walked.

He didn't notice the old truck drive by.

He didn't notice when it stopped, only to reverse back to where he was walking.

he didn't notice when the window wound down, the truck moving forward once again to match Joshua's pace.

"Hey kid!"

Joshua snapped out of his daze at the voice, he stopped walking for just a moment, arms returning to his side as he looked at the intruder of his peace.

"Need a lift?"

Joshua didn't respond, just stared intently at the stranger in the truck. Stubble? Didn't he shave? The sun's not even that bright right now, why was he wearing sunglasses? Well at least his hair looked clean. The truck on the other hand….

"something the matter…?" Joshua held back a laugh, realizing and not caring that his staring had probably made him a little uncomfortable. Instead he just shrugged and shook his head in response. Turning forward he started walking again, hoping the stranger would carry on his own way as well.

Except he didn't. The truck followed at a slow pace next to him, the man keeping an eye on both the mountain road and him. Joshua sighed. Looks like he wouldn't be getting his peace back anytime soon. might have to indulge this man for the time being.

"Yes…?" He asked turning to the truck, expression clearly showing his annoyance. Unfortunately that just got annoyed anyway.

"So where ya headed?" The man asked.

"Well that depends," Joshua stated as he continued to walk, smirk grazing his lips, "Where are you going?"

"Ha!" The stranger barked, a crooked smile of his own crossing his face. It suited him Joshua couldn't help thinking. The man continued "Very funny kid. Seriously, what's your destination? I'll give you a ride."

Well that doesn't sound creepy at all.

"I don't have one." Joshua answered. When he didn't get a response Joshua turned his gaze from the mountain road back to the truck. A confused look was on the drivers face and Joshua couldn't help but giggle at his expression.

"To have a destination is to know what will happen," Joshua explained, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair out of his face, "It's predictable. Boring. That's why I don't decide where I'm going, I just go. It's more exciting that way."

The stranger let out another bout of laughter, stopping his truck and letting his arm hang over the side of the window, other hand still loosely holding on to the steering wheel.

"You know something, I like the way you think," He stated, then pointed with his thumb to the passenger seat of his truck, "Okay then! How about we go to no where together?"

A flicker of surprise crossed Joshua's face at the suggestion and for a moment he just stared at the man in the truck. Logic was telling him that he should just continue on his way, forget about this random meeting but the other half of him, the part that started him on this random journey was saying why not?

Take the risk! Besides behind the scruffy appearance Joshua could tell there was more to this guy than meets the eye.

Did he understand?

Finally Joshua smiled, giggled, and tilted his head to the side.

"Okay." He heard the automatic unlock of the doors and Joshua ran around the back of the truck to the passenger side, opening the door and pulling himself into the old seat. It was relatively clean, and the odor of cigarettes assaulted his nose but he didn't mind.

Joshua pushed the sleeves of his sweeter up to his elbows and chucked his bag into the space behind the front seats, noticing but not caring that the man had done the same. speaking of…?

"Name's Sanae," He finally introduced turning to Joshua with that earlier crooked smile, "Sanae Hanekoma. You?" Joshua returned the smile before answering.

"Joshua."

"Well then Joshua, where too?"

Joshua laughed and leaned back in the seat, resting his legs on the dashboard and giving Sanae a side glance.

"Where ever the road takes us." Was his reply.

* * *

There ya have it, part 2 will be posted next week. R&R please~


	2. Chapter 2

Here is part 2, a little late but for those who've read it on tumblr, not so much. nothing new in this one. enjoy

* * *

Sanae wasn't entirely sure why he picked up this boy off the side of the road. He hadn't planned on it really, but honestly he hadn't planned on taking this rout home either.

home huh…?

After hearing what Joshua had to say about destinations he didn't really want to go home now anyway. This seemed a lot more interesting than waiting around for his next job and besides, the scenery out here was nice. He could get some good sketches done.

The crunch of an apple being bit into caught his attention and he looked over at where Joshua was sitting; Shoes discarded on the ground while his feet were propped up on the dashboard. A sketchbook, not one of Sanae's own it appeared, lay on his knees while Joshua slowly flipped through the pages, a fond but sad far off look on his face.

"You draw?" Sanae asked, deciding to break the silence. Joshua shook his head in response before taking another bite of his apple.

"Someone very important to me drew these…" he said slowly before closing the book. Something told Sanae that it was best not to ask about it yet, so he turned back to the road instead.

"If you want," he started, trying to keep the conversation going either way, "The brown book bag in the back should have my sketchbook in it. You're welcome to take a look."

Joshua turned to look at Sanae in mild surprise, mid-bite of his apple before smiling and giving a nod. Placing the apple in his mouth, teeth holding it in place, he turned around so he was now on his knees on the seat, digging through the backseat of the truck. After finding the bag in question he turned back around, flopping back down on his seat and opening up the flap of the bag. Sanae rolled his eyes at the kids recklessness in the truck; apparently seat belts didn't exist in his world. He opened his mouth to say something about it, turning to look over at Joshua but instead stopped short.

Joshua's face lit up at the first picture in the book, a small act that shouldn't have mattered much to him anymore. It probably came from being a professional, he was hired for his work after all, but something in the way Joshua looked at his work was different than the others. It was like he could _see_ everything in the picture, not just the lines.

How could he not be an artist and still do that?

"You're amazing…" Joshua whispered, only on the third page, fingers gently tracing the lines of the angel drawing. Sanae turned back to the road, a small smile on his face as a spark of pride lit in his chest. something he hadn't felt in a while towards his drawings.

"Is she someone you know or did you make her up?" Joshua asked looking curiously at him. Sanae shrugged in response before answering verbally.

"Probably just made her up. She could easily have been someone I met during one of my jobs though."

"Wouldn't you remember her then?" Joshua asked, a light teasing tone to his voice. Sanae chuckled and shrugged once again.

"Point taken," he agreed. still, it wasn't uncommon for him to just draw people at random if they fit the image that was in his head. He decided not to mention that though. Joshua giggled at his answer, he sounded really girly when he did that Sanae noticed, before looking back at the picture.

"My friend…he used to do gesture drawings and stuff too, but when it came to pictures like this he always drew people who meant something to him." That fond yet sad look returned to Joshua's face as he spoke.

"Did he ever draw you?" Sanae asked, a little unsure if he even should. This 'friend' might be a sensitive subject for Joshua but curiosity got the better of him. Thankfully Joshua laughed but the smile on his face was still sad.

"All the time." he answered. he closed the sketch book before hugging it between his legs and chest, arms holding his legs in place while resting his chin in his knees. A far off look clouded those violet eyes as he stared straight ahead.

"He said…" he stopped for a moment, composing himself against his emotions perhaps? before continuing, "We were so close you know. I just…" A sigh, "He spoke of smaller beauties in life; sunlight in the trees, the glimmer of the ocean, the way each leaf had its own perfect shade come fall…"

Joshua couldn't seem to stay on topic…or maybe he was and Sanae just couldn't tell. What he could see though was that this wasn't something Joshua was ready to talk about yet. taking a hand of the steering wheel he reached over and placed it gently on Joshua's shoulder, causing the boy to give him a side glance. Sanae offered him a gentle smile.

"When you're ready Josh." was all he said. Joshua blinked once, then twice before the hint of a smile crossed his face.

"Thanks…" he whispered. Sanae shrugged, grinned and turned his attention back to the road, half noticing Joshua taking his hand from his shoulder and lacing his fingers together in his own. A sign on the side of the road caught Sanae's attention and he quickly turned into the off ramp in that direction.

"There's a restaurant up ahead, let's get something real to eat." he suggested, indicating to the apple core in Joshua's free hand. The kid laughed, a real one this time, and nodded in agreement. There was more to this kid than met the eye and Sanae wanted to help him now, in whatever way he could.

* * *

there ya go. reviews are much appreciated~


	3. Chapter 3

part 3

for those who dont know, a Reuben sandwich is rye bread, corn-beef and sauerkraut. For those who read this chapter on tumblr I recommend reading it again here because I added in a scene at the end that you may enjoy owo

* * *

"You do realize I can't pay for this right?" Joshua stated between mouthfuls of the Reuben sandwich he was not so delicately shoving into his mouth. There was a small part of him that was bothered by his sudden lack of manners, he was taught better than this, but the taste of real food over threw it. When was the last time he had a proper meal, he wasn't sure anymore. Sanae chuckled at the statement, giving a shrug while cutting off a piece of his steak.

"Don't worry about it. I just finished a job so I can spare some." He responded before putting the meat covered fork in his mouth.

"That reminds me," Joshua spoke up pointing lazily at Sanae with a fry, "What _do_ you do for a living anyway?" Sanae shrugged once again, swallowing a mouthful of food.

"Art." he stated simply. Joshua raised an eyebrow curiously, waiting for him to expand. Sanae grinned before continuing, "I do signs, billboards, murals, sometimes I'm hired to design CD jackets or book covers. You name it I've probably done it."

"So you're like CAT then?" Joshua inquired, taking another bite of his sandwich. Sanae raised an eyebrow, a strange glint in his eyes before chuckling.

"Sure, let's go with that." He answered.

"What's that supposed to—"

"So you know CAT huh?" Sanae interrupted. Joshua scowled at the interruption but decided to answer the question anyway.

"Well who doesn't?" He muttered before resting his chin the the palm of his hand, "My friend looked up to him really, CAT was his inspiration."

"You don't say…" Sanae muttered. The topic of this 'friend' always made him feel like he was treading on thin ice but Joshua didn't seem to notice. Rather he changed the subject himself.

"So the sketchbook you showed me earlier, that wasn't you're work one was it?"

"Nope," Sanae responded with a laugh, "Most of my work is done digitally so I can get the colors right. When I actually do the work on things like murals and windows or signs I use paints."

"You reproduce it with paints?" Joshua asked, finishing up the last of his sandwich.

"You got it," Sanae answered, "Anyway want to stick around for a bit? I think there's a lake near by." Joshua frowned again, realizing that Sanae was changing the subject once more, but decided to just go along with it. He shrugged.

"Okay, sure."

"Sounds like a plan. Then we'll need find a hotel."

Joshua smirked at that: "What? Not one for kicking it out in the wild or are you trying to take advantage of me?"

"Ha!" Sanae barked out, returning Joshua's smirk with a grin of his own, "You wish princess."

"A girl can dream can't she?" Joshua giggled letting his hair curl around his fingers playfully. Sanae rolled his eyes but laughed himself. He just could not get a read on this kid.

* * *

Deciding to get the hotel first, which conveniently was in walking distance of the lake, it didn't take long to check in and make their way to the room. Joshua let out a happy groan, flopping face first onto the queen sized hotel bed. A real bed! Not the ground in the mountains or woods. He could die happily now, that was all he could think.

"Been a while?" Sanae asked letting out a chuckle at the boys actions. Joshua hummed in response, rolling lazily on his side so he could see Sanae better. The older male dropped his bags, one with clothes the other art supplies Joshua assumed, on the couch at the far side of the room.

"I forgot how nice it feels to sleep in an actual bed."

"Well you're not sleeping just yet," Sanae advised, "You should probably shower before doing so, or we could head to the lake now if you want."

"Hmm…." Joshua rolled over onto his back, facing the ceiling. A shower sounded wonderful but if he went to explore the lake he would probably end up dirty again. Plus he didn't exactly have a change of clothes. Luckily the hotel had a laundry facility.

"….Wasn't there a poster about a bonfire or something?" Joshua eventually asked. Sanae shrugged, opening up his laptop and taking a seat on the couch.

"Wasn't paying attention to be honest," he answered.

"I'm pretty sure there was," Joshua stated, pushing himself up on his forearms, "I kinda want to check it out."

"It'll be later tonight then right?" Sanae asked, looking up from his computer.

"Doesn't necessarily mean there still wont be people around." Joshua smirked. Get out, have some fun, shower and then bed. That sounded like a great plan to him. Sanae laughed and shrugged.

"You go ahead then," he answered throwing Joshua a card key, "I'll meet up with you later. I'm just gonna check for any new jobs in the area."

"Okay~" Joshua sang before skipping out of the room happily. He didn't see the amused eye roll but he did hear Sanae laugh at him once more.

* * *

_Like CAT_…Sanae thought eyes scanning the vast amount of emails he had received, all wanting something out of him. Art wise anyway. Perhaps he should tell Joshua that he was CAT. That would certainly make fore an interesting conversation.

He didn't dwell on the thought though, choosing instead to focus on his work. Replying to some emails, making estimates on prices that people wanted from him and most importantly locating any jobs that were in the surrounding area's.

He found a few actually. He spent more time on those, exchanging emails with the employers, settling deals, it wasn't long before he had decided on one and the next thing he realized it was dark out.

_Josh isn't back yet…_ he thought, closing the laptop and putting it on the couch next to him. Standing up he stretched, a few pops audible from his back.

_Gotta stop sitting for so long…._ Another useless thought. Grabbing the other card key to the room Sanae set off to find the bonfire where Joshua was supposed to be.

That didn't take long either. It was by the lake, tones of teenagers and young adults dancing to the loud music, the base causing vibrations in the ground. And there was Joshua, beer in hand and swaying along with a group of other teens, jumping to the music but perfectly in sync with it. He may not be an artist but Sanae could see that there was a hint of a dancer in that boy.

Joshua caught sight of him not a moment later, laughing and calling out to him, voice lost in the music. Sanae smiled, waving at him before taking a seat on one of the makeshift benches, A log, next to a few others.

"Beer?" A bottle appeared in Sanae's view. Smiling he took the beverage, turning to the person who offered it in the first place.

"Thanks."

"No prob," The man responded. His hair was bleached to a pale orange-blond, tied back in a half pony. The man indicated with his chin over to Joshua who was now dancing with a bleach haired girl with heavy make-up and clothes that revealed her dark tanned skin.

"You know the priss?" He asked. Sanae shrugged, laughed and took a sip of his beer.

"I guess," He answered, "He was walking down the side of the road so I picked him up."

"Well that's not creepy sounding at all old man." The other laughed.

"SOOoota!" Joshua suddenly appeared in front of them, arms flinging around Sanae's neck instantly. Where the heck did he come from? Sanae didn't even see him move from the dance floor.

"Don't—Don't tease him~" He sang, giggling at the same time, "Not his fault he's…..uh…" Another laugh before burying his head in Sanae's shoulder. Well this was an interesting development…

"Joshua…how much have you had to drink?" Sanae asked cautiously, pushing the younger boy gently off of him. Joshua looked up at him, mild confusion crossing his face before he looked skywards. After a moment he giggled and make a strange exaggerated movement with his hands.

'A lot' apparently was the answer, and he could believe it too. He stank like alcohol.

"Hey Sanaeeee…." Joshua sang out catching the others attention once more. Arms flung around his neck again and Joshua's face appeared in front of his. Too close for comfort.

"Whoa Josh, calm down there a little would ya?" Sanae tried to push Joshua off of him again but to no avail. Joshua just giggled, grip tightening around his neck.

"Y-You have…VeeEery pretty…pretty eyes," Another giggle, "D-Did you know that~?"

"And you're drunk, did you know that?" Sanae shot back before rolling his eyes. The guy who had offered him the beer earlier, Sota, was now laughing at the scene along with a few other teens in the area. Joshua giggled in response to Sanae and the older male found himself sighing, rolling his eyes and standing up, dragging Joshua up with him.

"Okay, time to go." He said. Joshua shrieked before giggling again like a little school girl but his arms never left Sanae's neck.

"Good luck!" Sota called out to them as he dragged Joshua back to the Hotel.

* * *

"W-Why a' we….leavin…?" Joshua's first words as they made their way away from the lake, arms still latched around Sanae's neck.

"You're drunk." Sanae responded simply. He felt a strange sense of protection towards Joshua right now and in the state the boy was in there was no way Sanae was leaving him alone, especially drunk.

"…._Ihateleavin…._" Joshua muttered. Sanae raised an eyebrow, shifting Joshua's weight to the side so he could walk up the stairs to their room.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I said! I Hate! Leavin!" Joshua snapped, voice raising, "E-Everyone….Everybody always….always l-leaves!"

And here starts the over emotional state of mind.

"It's fine josh…" Sanae soothes though the words came out emotionless.

"N-NooOOooo it's Noooot!" Joshua whined as Sanae shifted him once more, reaching into his pocket to pull out the card key. He hummed robotically in response, more concerned about getting them into the hotel room than Joshua's over emotional state of mind.

_He's never drinking again._ He thought to himself, finally getting them both inside.

"N-NeekUuu!"

What?

Joshua clung tighter as Sanae maneuvered them over to the bed.

"N-Neku!" Joshua yelled again, this time tears starting to fall. Dread filled Sanae's stomach. This was that 'friend' wasn't it?

"H-he left me!" Joshua sobbed, continuing to cling to Sanae even as he lowered the other onto the bed.

"He just up and….and killed himself!" Joshua snapped. Sanae's eyes widened. Sure he was curious about Joshua's friend but he certainly didn't want to find out about it this way.

"J-Josh…you need to…to calm down." Sanae stated simply, a little unsure of what exactly to say to an over emotional drunk teenager he barely knew.

….who also appeared to have a very tight grip. Joshua was now lying flat on his back on the bed and Sanae still hadn't managed to get out of his grip.

"….don't leave me…" Joshua whispered causing Sanae to freeze. He looked down at him finally, eyes locking with Joshua's violet hue's. He looked like he was genuinely about to cry and whether or not it was the alcohol talking Sanae was suddenly unsure.

"…Promise you wont leave me…not like…like Neku did…"

"….I'm not going anywhere J." Sanae finally said, propping himself up on his elbow while using his free hand to brush aside some of the blond strands from Joshua's face., "….promise."

That seemed to calm Joshua down, his face relaxing into a smile. Sanae thought he would finally get free but was once again taken by surprise. Joshua pulled him down, flipping him over so Sanae was now facing the ceiling. He barely had time to register Joshua climbing onto him before a pair of lips slammed clumsily onto his own. Eye's widened and the dread in his stomach increased. This was not good! This was _so_ not good! Arms shot to grab at the boys shoulders, pushing at him to get him off but to no avail. Joshua simply swatted his hands away before bringing his own down to cup Sanae's face between them.

Lips clumsily moved against Sanae's own, and a part of the older male could tell that Joshua was no stranger to kissing. He had talent, but the alcohol was obviously affecting it. He suddenly started to wonder what it would be like kissing Joshua while sober. As soon as the thought appeared Sanae quickly threw it away. He was probably twice Joshua's age, this wasn't exactly moral, even if the teen was drunk. He tried once more to push Joshua off of him, and luckily, this time, he gave way.

Rather, he slid off to the side, sort of half lying on Sanae, half on the bed...and fast asleep. Sanae looked at him from the side, staring in confusion. The kid just forced himself on him and ended up falling asleep almost emmidiately afterwards. Sanae just lay there, not knowing what to do. This situation was, after all, quite wrong on many levels. After all Joshua was still a teenager and he was an adult. Still, what could he do? Even asleep Joshua still had a tight hold on him. The kid was a lot stronger than he looked. Sighing he shook his head. He wasn't able to leave so he may as well just get some sleep. He'd worry about the consequences in the morning.

* * *

dun dun duuuuuunnnnn~

this chapter brought to you while Jay is in Japan. (well technically it's being reposted here, the original is on tumblr from a while back)


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